On-going Thoughts: Zero no Tsukaima F 5/12

I like to believe that Zero no Tsukaima understands how emotions work.

Last week’s episode left off kind of meh. They reintroduced Tabitha, I’m expecting this episode to be primarily shameless fan service; similar to the shitfest of the previous season. I hope I’m proved wrong.

On-going Thoughts: Episode

Tabitha still hasn’t decided on whether or not she’ll assume the role of Queen. She would make a pretty mediocre Queen, she doesn’t have the “required” mentality to rule. It appears that her primary reason for being here is to pursue a relationship with Saito. Screw you storyline.

Oh hey, more romantic moments. That’s good I guess. At least he admits that no other girl makes him feel the same way, although he’ll inevitably stray from that statement due to the temptations of breasts. What follows is more awkward kinky dialogue. Seista ends up cockblocking though, why didn’t they just leave her with that kind lord during the first season? Anyhow, Tabitha overheard the scene, and she appears to be heartbroken. I dislike harems.

Louise has a visitor, it turns out to be her elder sister. She insists that they go home since she’s disgracing the Valiere name. Needless to say, an onslaught of low blows via dialogue follows.

Saito interrupts the argument and declares his intentions. Unfortunately, her sister retorts with another low blow. This results in Louise training her dog to become a noble dog. Now, the chances of this going as planned is approximately the chances of the third season of Zero no Tsukaima being acclaimed as a great season by anyone someone that doesn’t watch ZnT for hand exercises and the most efficient stroking techniques. It’s probably going to result in the cliche route of Saito failing miserably. However, it’ll also result in her sister suddenly changing her personality due to her sudden clarity of the true love between Saito and Louise, allowing them to be together.

This episode is essentially “How to be a Dominatrix”. “How to be more ruthless than a slavedriver”. Their friends depart with Tabitha, she looked somewhat heartbroken.

Inevitably, they begin to argue because Saito doesn’t understand what the “tsundere” archetype entails. It appears that their arguments result in repetitive use of circular reasoning.

This scene is essentially in every episode. It appears that learning from your mistakes is much too difficult. The cliche “sad” music in the background isn’t exactly helping, the scene was more comedic than actually “sad”.

Anyhow, being the lord of the house that he is, he gets to sleep on the couch in the basement. Needless to say, he finds the gate to Narnia by tripping and explores it because dark,ominous places essentially invite you in with open arms.

This results in Louise looking around the house to no avail for Saito. Because yelling for his name is too difficult.

Sherlock solves more useless shit, and realizes that talking to himself is healthy. He discovers a magical mirror on the wall. It appears that the magical power of the mirror is to create needless melodrama; innovative and original.

It appears that the Queen dresses like a prostitute average anime character when she sleeps. It appears that the mirror was used for the affairs of the late King. She gives a lecture on how she’s given up on finding true love.

It appears that Saito’s speech earlier was constructive and meaningful. Louise happens to walk in on the exact hidden room, at the exact time of this occurring. This would be the phenomenon of melodrama. The irony of the Queen asking to be the mistress of the Chevalier, the lowest ranking noble class.

Needless to say, she cries and walks out before Saito says something somewhat redeeming about his asinine actions.

No wait, hold your fucking horses. Pun intended. You don’t fucking start a conversation with “that was just” after you pull retarded shit like that. What the fuck can you possibly say. That was just a friendly kiss, don’t the French do that shit? Saito’s a pretty shitty dog, let’s put him down.

Bullshit. That was exactly what happened. In the past that excuse worked because you genuinely wanted to help them. I don’t consider a kiss of pity as an excuse to let your dick go on autopilot.

You too, why do you both act like love incompetent teenagers? Oh wait.

This sword is the most intelligent being on this show. He never causes melodrama, and he always fixes problems. He helps everybody that he can, and he does it without ending up naked.

Oh hey, the only fucking sensible thing you said this episode. But it’s alright, since you’re the protagonist everything’s going to turn out fine. She’ll probably get kidnapped once more, and you’ll rescue her risking your life in the process. Louise heads back to the school, where she’s met by her entourage of friends.

Lmao, was that smug look on Tabitha’s face intentional or just lazy animation. Anyhow, she declares that she’s taking Saito.
“I’m the future Queen of Galia, so I can do whatever I want”
She does have a point there. Louise can’t possibly compete with Queens going after the retard’s dick.
Now, this isn’t Tabitha’s personality regardless of her actual feelings. I’m assuming this was planned beforehand to reconcile them.

She gets lectured about love from what’s her face. She lectures her on how Queens rarely have a chance to seize love, so when they can, they’ll go for it regardless of the circumstances.

“I want to go back to my old world”
“If I can’t be with Louise, there’s no reason for me to be here”
Ay bro. Let’s have your words reflect in your actions every once in a while.

Zero no Tsukaima, this is not how the fuck you do romance. What the fuck. He essentially cheats on her, then she essentially gets bullied by Tabitha. Then it’s followed with a shitty, mediocre lecture from double D’s. Apparently through the synergy of all the shit mentioned, she came to the conclusion that cheating was fine and that they should be together. Impeccable logic right there.
I like to think that Zero no Tsukaima is an intelligent parody on the romance genre. Then again, I also like to think that the third season never happened. I also like to think that people actually read this blog. ‘

On-going Thoughts: Downloads


Opening’s fine, it suits it. Nothing more to add.
“I’ll Be There For You” by ICHIKO

Ending’s mediocre. I dislike cutesy shit when it’s done like this. Oh well, download link regardless.
“Kiss Shite↑Agenai↓ (キスシテ↑アゲナイ↓)” by Louise (Rie Kugimiya)
Both have cool cover arts.

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6 Responses to On-going Thoughts: Zero no Tsukaima F 5/12

  1. grek14 says:

    As always fun to read.
    And Derflinger is indeed the most intelligent being on this show xD
    He should have much more screen time :)

  2. grek14 says:

    Oh, and wanted to say, that at least from the preview, the next one looks like a fanservice episode :/

  3. Emy says:

    You bet people actually read this blog. It’s hilarious! :D
    Indeed, Derflinger is the most intelligent of them all, I never would’ve thought of that. Anyways, I really hope it’s not just me, but at the moment I f*cking hate “Her Highness”, I really do hope they’ll stop all the shit with her and Saito once and for all!
    PS. Keep on blogging, it’s worth it! ;)

  4. revy32 says:

    Love your review! Honestly when I saw this episode I wasn’t sure who I wanted to kill …. first ! Because in the end [believe you me] all of them were gonna die!BTW you are the only one who I have seen make a comment about both Tabithas’ and Kirches’ attitude and really thank you , cause it felt like I was the only one that hated it [It kinda bothered me even more than the Queen being both a shitty friend and a slut . Saito’s cheating and Louises’ stupidity ; since they were basically telling her ”Oh you don’t love him enough. That’s the problem.”]!!
    PS. You shouldn’t wonder if people read this blog. Of course we do!

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