On-going Thoughts: Zero no Tsukaima F 7/12

Essentially more irritating than the fan-service episodes.

The previous episode was essentially just fan-service. Hopefully that changes this episode, otherwise, i’ll be bitchin’ up a storm.

On-going Thoughts: Episode

Saito slept on the floor in the guys’ room due to the events that occurred in the last episode. Tabitha kisses him good-bye while he’s asleep; this should result in less stupidity revolving around the romance. Hopefully. The “sad” song was playing during this scene, but you can’t really take that song seriously once it becomes associated with humor. It’s almost as if Zero no Tsukaima is just an intelligent parody on the romance genre.

It appears that Saito just loves melodrama, so he’s trying to stop her from leaving. She says that she cannot stay. because if she listens to his voice any longer, she’ll lose her resolve. Basically, she’s foolishly in love with him, if this continues on, she’ll lose her resolve to rule Gallia.

Familiar faces emerge. If we’re going to have an antagonist for this final season, can we like not make them seem like completely powerless assholes. Their interference thus far doesn’t add to a broad storyline, it’s just an arc of their own. Anyhow, they confront each other; they intend to kill Saito. Saito, shocked by incredulity prepares to do something, however, it shifts to the opening theme. Chances are, Tabitha is going to save his ass.

The creativity and unpredictability is astounding. They began to taunt her,  she retorts by saying retarded shit like “I’M HIS CHAMPION”. Then it shifts to a battle scene, Tabitha’s dragon charges in, unfortunately, it gets sliced on the neck. Thankfully, protagonists don’t die.

This sister then runs into the house, probably to kidnap Fu Louise. Saito runs in after her. However, he’s stopped by one the siblings. The brother begins to boast about how cool he is for breaking out of prison, how much prison sucks, and how many prisoners he violated. Saito, in the midst of being ambushed, begins to complain that they’re destroying the mansion that cost him a fortune he got for free. The guys from school attempt to help him, however, they’re essentially useless.

Meanwhile, Louise is getting kidnapped. She pleads to Saito for help, while her abductor hits on her. Her abductor relinquishes her wish to make Louise into her doll, Louise then realizes that something might be wrong with her abductor. The action and dialogue then shifts to something you would expect from a H-Anime.

Another sibling emerges, the dominant one it appears. He shows his discontent about the situation, he doesn’t like doing things that don’t make him money. The siblings are essentially doing this out of revenge. To alleviate his discontent, he pulls out a magical trumpet. The trumpet emits magical waves of magic, it basically turns the entire battlefield into water. But in Zero no Tsukaima mechanics, it’s alchemy. His reason for doing so? No fucking idea.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Tifa is getting kidnapped by her elven brethren. Saito charges at her abductors, however, they’re magical elves. One of them uses the water surrounding them to essentially release the same effects of chloroform.

Saito then falls onto the water. How does he not drown? No fucking idea.

They intend to kidnap not only Tifa, but the whore maid too. On the roof, the dragon shifts into fan-service mode and states her discontent by expressing the passionate phrase “This is really bad!”. So basically, the dominant brother used his magical trumpet to turn everything into water, for no fucking reason at all; then on the other side of the battlefield, the elves, completely unrelated to the brothers, happen to use the newly formed water to knock everyone out? The fuck type of coincidence is that? What is this? Guilty Crown?

Saito wakes up; he doesn’t know where he is. Through his keen observation skills, he notices two peculiar lumps next to him. By impulse, he immediately accesses their danger. He pokes it, the lumps appear to be bouncy, however, it isn’t until further groping that he realizes that he’s committing sexual harassment. Anyhow, she seems to not give a fuck that she was essentially molested, then the female elf comes in. She notifies them that they’re in elven country.

Were you expecting forests and shit?

Deserts have the best elven real estate, it’s statistically proven through extensive use of circular reasoning. He questions her on why the fuck he woke up in the middle of a desert. She informs them that they were kidnapped. He seems shocked.

Meanwhile, someplace far far away, Louise is worried that her boyfriend may be participating in extracurricular physical bonding. Apparently they’ve been missing for a week, Louise pleads to the Queen for aid in finding them. Unfortunately, his Eminence requested that they handle the situation. Louise leaves, the Queen appears to be sad. Her schoolmates wait outside, anticipating results. Louise gives the bad news to them, they all appear to be sad; the sad song is playing. How is this supposed to trigger any emotional response at all, the situation at hand is a joke. Louise then proceeds to go home, she cries and stuff, however, her tears serve as catalysts to her determination. She packs with the intention of saving Saito, because that’s what he would have done for her.

He questions her on why they were essentially drugged and kidnapped. She says it’s because Tifa’s boobs threatened the gravitational pull of the earth void magic is dangerous, and because Saito’s Gandalfr. They basically kidnapped her because she’s weak, they can control the weak. Their reason for taking Saito was because they could, probably the most logical reason thus far.

Her uncle emerges, for those who don’t really pay attention to the plot because of how ridiculous it is, he’s the dude that made the magical orbs of fire that made explosions and shit (for Joseph, the blue-haired king with the familiar fetish). He’s here to check on his niece, on whether she’s actually performing her arduous task of babysitting correctly. He questions them on the state of Tabitha’s mother, Saito informs him that she fully recovered, he replies apathetically, but he’s probably glad deep down underneath the veil of douchebaggery.

Suddenly, the female elf’s fiance emerges. He supports the capital punishment directed towards Tifa and Saito. She threatens to revoke her intent to marry him if he continues acting like an ass. He pleads with her saying “that’s something completely different.” She accuses him of not being supportive enough of her aspirations, needless to say, he lost the argument when he walked into the room due to the cardinal rule of “Guys don’t win fucking arguments against females”.

Siesta intends to go with Louise to rescue Saito. The production studio then intends to ruin the instrumental version of the opening that played during that one emotional scene in season two by playing it during this scene.

Songs are easily the most memorable asset of anime; don’t ruin your signature songs by playing them in a pointless,redundant scene please. Seriously, the wedding version of “I SAY YES” by Ichiko shouldn’t be playing in this fucking scene, that song is associated with the most emotional moment of the entire series. Why fucking ruin it by associating it with this joke. To make shit worse, the entire harem intends to go with Louise to fucking rescue Saito. Thanks, a song that originally accentuated the love between Saito and Louise is now being shifted to the love between Saito and his fucking harem.

Too irritated to write more, nothing important happens after that scene, everyone including the classmates are going with Louise to help Saito. Saito then goes skinny-dipping with Tifa. He swims to the bottom and finds a crashed fighter jet, presumably from his world.

On-going Thoughts: Concluding Thoughts

There’s a difference between shifting back to plot, and shifting back to retarded plot. Shifting back to plot is logical and it flows, shifting back to sporadic plot encapsulates humor more than logic, and is often non-flowing and bullshit and shit like that, basically filler plots. Oh right, this episode can die in a fire.

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