This show isn’t shit because it’s different, bizarre, or daring. It’s shit because it’s shit.
The fuck did I just watch?
[Contains mild, creative language used to emphasize certain things, also contains spoilers]
This review doesn’t seem to flow, think of it as fragments of criticism.
So basically, I started the movie with mediocre expectations, it had a horribly low rating, but it was animated by Ufotable. So, I may be watching mediocre shit, but at least it’ll have pretty visuals.
Anyhow, the introduction piqued my curiosity, a group of fishermen appeared to be dazed and shocked from a discovery, the discovery wasn’t revealed till later. Now, what was the discovery? It was landfish.
The landfish essentially have a grotesque smell, followed by a what the fuck appearance. Imagine fish, now imagine mechanical spiders. Now imagine a combination of the two. Now give the combination of the two to the storyboard of Guilty Crown. And now you have your fucked up landfish. The landfish play an integral role in this, they basically invade town and do whatever the fuck they want. They don’t target humans specifically, they just do what the fuck ever, like eat the shit out cars and subways, just for shits. Later on, it’s revealed that it’s not limited to just fish, it just originated from them.
The storyline started off as somewhat meh, but possibly promising. It quickly drifted off to something you would write in a drugged frenzy. The storyline is basically composed of the chick accompanied by some dude, looking for her fiance. Along the way, they discover that the landfish was conceived as a biological weapon during WWII (unpredictable, right?). They also discover that the fish is half organic, and half synthetic; but, it’s also infectious. In other words, a pointless biological weapon because it fucking infects everyone, your side included. The rest of the storyline is inconceivable shit, so I’ll move on to the other sections. It should be noted that it’s not shit because it’s bizarre, different, and shocking. It’s shit because it’s shit, it’s cliche and it flows about as well as this shitty review. Seriously, it ends by trying to invoke some fucking philosophy. The entire storyline thus far was giant fucking robot monsters shoving their tentacles up your ass to mind control you.
The characters were also a bit “what the fuck” worthy. Essentially, it’s just the main heroine, but her two friends should be noted. First first friend is perhaps the paragon of “what the fuck how retarded are you?” A giant landshark comes through the window when she’s screwing two guys, needless to say, she was injured. During the attack, she was scared shitless and the two guys ditch her. After the attack, she thanks the two guys for “saving” her on TV, then proceeds to screw them once more. The second friend actually started off as a pretty decent character; she was the third-wheel. However, it appears that any redemption for a decent character was killed during the second half.
The characterization was also minimal. You’re just given some history, and you’ll have to assume the rest by assuming some common character archetypes. The history would be much more convincing, if the voice acting wasn’t so bland.
The voice acting in this was beyond mediocre, it was the apathetic type of emotion, it just didn’t fit the characters at all. You could find better voice acting in Hentai than this, just saying. In Hentai, when a giant tentacle monster attacks you, emotions are heard. In Gyo, when tentacles attack you, you’re reading off the script. However, ufotable did a decent job here, the visuals were good. The OST was lackluster to say the least, it’s mostly silent. It could be argued that it enhanced the ambiance, but when music did play, it usually wasn’t anything special.
This series also intends on inserting fan service, regardless of the occasion. It’s more of a, remember to pay attention, otherwise you’ll miss some boobs, or some scenes reminiscent of something you would normally find with the keywords tentacles and schoolgirl penetration. Some examples include a certain characters death scene. She’s essentially about to die, then her eyes flashes before her eyes. What flashes? Was it precious child-hood memories? A lost love? Regret? No, it was her essentially before being screwed by the entire football team fully nude.
The law enforcement in this anime also seem to fucking blow. Hey, giant fish invading? No problem, let’s fly a plane and hope for the best. Guarding a quarantined zone? Beat the shit out of anybody that tries to past, regardless of the reason. Your loved one’s stuck on the other side? We should probably convince you not to go by physical encouragement.
Overall, if you’re looking for plenty of nudity, and tentacles, go watch hentai. If you’re looking for cheap scares, and shit storylines, go for Another or this. Shit, this review blew, but I spent too much time on this to delete it.
Objective Rating: 2/10: Shit
Subjective Rating: 3/10: Shit still
I don’t like this guy, should I recommend this to him? Yes
Concluding Thoughts aren’t in-depth reviews, they’re written immediately after whatever I finished; in other words, they’re impulse reviews. That means they aren’t the most organized, I do go back and correct any mistakes I make, I also try to make it more clear.